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It rained last night.
Not the kind of rain that goes pitter-patter on your roof and feels like kisses from heaven on your skin.
It rained like the heavens had been keeping a secret for far too long,
And could no longer hold it in.
And I knew what that secret was.
Maybe you did too.

The secret was that I cut myself after 3 years of being clean.
What was your secret?
Did the rain let it all go too?
Or is there going to be another storm?
If so please let me know,
I’ll wear my swimsuit all day, just waiting,
Waiting for the heavens to break open and pour out all their secrets.

Maybe the secret is that heaven is just too small, just too lonely,
So all the angels cry out when it becomes too much to bear.
And the thunder is God yelling back,
Yelling at them to act normal.
For heaven’s sake act normal.
Like you’re supposed to.
Act like heaven is everything we believed it to be while on earth.
Maybe heaven isn’t the greatest destination after all.
Maybe we have no destination.
Just an endless journey of sunshine as happiness,
And rain as tears,
With someone always yelling for us to change,
For us to be better.
For us to be good enough, like we were taught to be.

All I want in this life is for someone to tell me that I am good enough.
That I am good,
AND enough.
And at this point I don’t care if it’s God or a dog I pass on the street.
Just let me be enough.
Just me.
Let all my secrets come pouring down like the way it rained last night.
Let all my tears come flowing down like the way it rained last night.

And let one person,
Just one person,
Stand outside for hours.
Just watching my storm.
Let them smile when my tears get too heavy and start to chill their skin.
Let them laugh when my screams roll too loud and they can feel it in their chest.
And let them be amazed at the way my heart lights up the night sky as my passions set it on fire.
I want someone to watch my storms the way I watched as it rained last night.
No thought that it should stop.
No thought of ways to make it change.
No fear of being hurt.
Just wonder.
Just amazement.

10 thoughts on “It Rained Last Night

  1. The more i read your poems and the way you’re pouring your heart out. The more i want to get to know this amazing person you are.

    You are more then enough.

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